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Some reflections on 2018 plus how to reflect on a tough year.

January 6, 2019 Hannah Bullivant
Reflecting on 2018 plus how to reflect on a tough year | hannahbullivant.com

I love the promise of a new year. I love it in the same way I love the promise of a new season, and sometimes a new month, week or even a fresh new morning  (especially the frosty mornings we’ve had this week).  I like the first page of a new diary, the first sprouts in the soil. Perhaps this explains my love of the changing seasons, the new startness of it all. Either way, January is a both a calendrical and symbolic new beginning. When done from a place of love and kindness, using this time to celebrate your wins and set some intentions and #tinglygoals for the year can be really powerful. 

I don’t usually start my review and planning process until later in the month, it takes me (and, it turns out, quite a lot of you) a while to get into the new year. But this year, I have turned my January Book (or Life Book, January Chapter) into an e course to enable me to better serve you, answer questions and go a bit deeper. So Dave and I started our January Book on New Years Eve, earlier than usual, so I can go through the process with students on the e-course. I was again reminded why I love this process, why it enriches my life and widens my perception. I entered the conversation with one subject at the front of my mind (without even knowing it) and ended it with a much wider appreciation of what constitutes my life, how I can choose to approach it, and a lot of gratitude.

I wanted to share some of my reflections on 2018 because it has been a surprising year, one with some real lows and some really high high’s. And also because I think starting with reflections on the last year is a really lovely way to begin the process, grounding us in the present- today,-and providing wisdom for when we feel ready to think about 2019.

I also write this for anyone who had a hard year and who may be resisting looking back. Some of this was hard to write but I have learned so much in the process. I am still distilling and mulling 2018 in my own January Book and this will continue throughout January, and in community with students on the January Book e course. 

Looking back

Quite a lot of this year was hard. I look back at journal entries in the first half of the year and wince. I was deeply sleep deprived (baby related) and starting to lose my shit with my mental health. The months leading up to and following us night weaning Auden (stopping breastfeeding at night) were some of the hardest of my life. My anxiety roared. I was heavily relying on beta blockers and paracetamol, was tearful and and anxious, waking with panic attacks in the night. I ended up in A&E in early summer with heart palpitations so bad I thought something was really wrong with me. I felt scared.

My word for the year was ‘Brave’ because I envisioned 2018 to be the year I took myself out of my comfort zone, took up my space, and started working more and charging my worth. It didn’t quite go to plan. 

This did actually eventually happen, primarily  in the last quarter of the year (more on that later). For the rest of the year I just had to offer myself kindness and more kindness. The January Book has a lot of room for change. I cancelled plans. Delayed goals, then delayed them again. I prioritised rest, and used my word for the year in an entirely different way than I envisioned. I needed bravery to simply get through some of the days. To say that I needed help. To go the the GP. To book counselling. To say no to some stuff I needed to say no too. To fully and honestly face my anxiety and inner talk. To talk myself down from panic attacks. In many ways, these are some of the bravest things i’ve done. 

Dave and I have also been working through some financial stuff in 2018 that has been really bloody challenging. The result of maternity/ paternity leave and unexpected tax debt meant some changes to the way we were living that have not been easy. The financial instability combined with the anxiety and sleep deprivation has at times been a pretty toxic mix. 

The January Book prompts me to speak to my past self like i’d speak to myself as a child, or someone I cherish and love. My journal although difficult to read at times, is also lovely. I heavily relied on it. My feelings are poured into the pages like a deep dark pool. But surrounding them like a tidal barrier are my gratitudes and intentions, gently directing me back into a healthier more positive place (I am so grateful for this practice). I see myself choosing to speak kindly to myself. Giving myself a break. I see my past self going into the garden most mornings to start the day with my coffee and my gratitudes. I see me deeply grounding myself in small pleasures, hanging onto gratitude for dear life, allowing myself to feel the feelings I felt, offering myself kindness. 

I feel so so proud of the way I coped with those things, lots of which are ongoing. I am literally taking a moment to high five and hug myself simultaneously. 

And then the final quarter of 2018 happened. I had been deliberating about what my offering was for a really long time, and then decided to sort of just go for it. Having finally felt rested and well enough to take a leap (thanks to sleep, drugs and CBT) and wanting to contribute more financially , I launched my ebook, A Soulful Gathering. It contained all the things I have learned about hosting and styling a stylish, soulful gathering, something I have wanted to write for years. I was blown away by the reaction of my community. I also launched 4 (!) Christmas workshops and two day retreats, volunteered to style a really special Christmas day event for care leavers, and started working on my first e-course, The Life Book January Chapter (or The January Book!). I had a few amazing press mentions and articles, released an accidentally slightly viral wreath making tutorial, had my best ever month financially in November and was interviewed for Sara’s podcast, Hashtag Authentic. Just writing all that makes feel ‘whoa’.  In hindsight it was too much. I got sick over Christmas and didn’t give myself enough rest time. But it felt incredibly liberating to do the following: Just take action . Stop pondering. To stop agonising about what my ‘thing’ was. Try some things. Learn again and again to divorce myself from external approval.  To hold things lightly. To play. I hold these lessons close to my heart as I look ahead to this year. 

These are snippets of the story. There was so much other good stuff, too, a lot of joy. I haven’t even touched on kids, marriage, politics or lots of the other things that happened last year, but I wanted to share some of the high’s and low’s of last year, and how I approach them. I’m so grateful for The January Book process  for providing a kind and loving space in which to figure all this out. 

If you are reflecting on a tough year, maybe one significantly tougher than mine (i am deeply aware of all of my privileges in this), I have pulled together a few helpers.

How to look back on a tough year:

  • Speak to yourself like you’d speak to a child or someone you cherish

  • Offer your past self grace and understanding. Look at what happened simply as information about the circumstances in your life, rather than as evidence of your failures.

  • Remember. You’d be surprised how much you have forgotten about how much you managed. Here are some tips.

    • Look through your phone photos of the last year

    • Flip through your journal, dairy or calendar over the last year

    • Scroll through look your social media posts

    • Speak to trusted loved ones about their recollection of what you aced in 2018

  • End your reflections in gratitude. It can be hard, especially after a hard year, but think about who was there for you? Who were the good people? What were the good experiences? Write as long a list as you can manage and include the small little daily pleasures as well as the big stuff too.

  • What did you learn? What changes in perception or approach did you experience?

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In My work, Embracing The Seasons, Bigger Picture Tags reflecting on 2018, reflecting on a tough year, mental health, managing anxiety, journalling for anxiety, new year journalling
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The January Book Basics: setting tingly goals for the new year

December 19, 2018 Hannah Bullivant
The January Book Basics | Hannahbullivant.com

Today, I am in a podcast episode with sara from Me And Orla, which I am so so excited about! In it we discuss my journey with niching, newsletters, leaping, money but primarily all about The January Book.

You can listen here. I love a good podcast interview and am always quite honest, and this is no exception!

So I thought today would be a good day to release my January Book basics download, a walkthrough of the main elements of the January Book to get you started, for those that are already thinking about 2019.

The Life Book, January edition, is a planning and review journalling process my husband and I came up with 10 years ago. Through many years of trial and error we have designed a system that results in meaningful reflection and planning with heart; a system that really works. It guides you to find your big picture and create goals that help you get there, even in small ways. It’s all about making goals that feel good (rather than feel like punishments, all too familiar in the ‘new year, new you’ BS). It’s ultra adaptable to your life and circumstances; whether you work in a busy 9-5, part time from home; love or hate your career, or a mixture of all of the above. It works whether you’re in a relationship or not, whether you have kids or not. It’s focus is holistic and looks at the whole; although if you want to laser down on a few key areas the system supports that too.

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In Bigger Picture, My work Tags January journalling, January musings, new year journalling, gentle journalling, january goals, january intentions, january resolutions, new year resolutions, making resolutions that stick, tingly goals
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5 steps to lay a simple and festive table

December 12, 2018 Hannah Bullivant
5 steps to lay a simple and festive table

Christmas day is just 13 days away (gadzooks! I am not prepared!) and just in case your thoughts are turning to hosting and styling a festive table, I have pulled together some tips for ES Homes&Property. These are all summarised from my ebook: A Soulful Gathering and focus on my core advice; plan ahead as much as possible, ask for/accept help and keep things simple. I also include some styling tips too.

I’m hosting my final workshop of the year this Saturday and it’s all about laying a festive table! It’s in central London at Berry Brothers and Rudd so there will be excellent wine! Tickets are only £35 and the workshop is 2 hours, 12-2. Guests will make a table garland, mini wreaths and posies, and you can get a ticket here.

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In My work, Embracing The Seasons Tags laying a christmas table, christmas table, rustic christmas table, solstic table, winter table, lay a winter table, lay a simple winter table, simple christmas table
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A Soulful Gathering: Simple Ideas To Host 2 or 200.

November 11, 2018 Hannah Bullivant
A Soulful gathering: Simple ideas to hot 2 or 200. Hannahbullivant.com

​Hello and Happy Sunday! I'm so so excited to tell you that my brand new E-Book is now live! I've been in a writing cave for the last few weeks, and before that, in a messy but fun photo-taking studio cave. I have loved putting this together, stretching myself with the photography and styling, and flexing my long form writing muscles (thank god for editors) It's called A Soulful gathering: Simple Ideas to host 2 or 200. ​ It's 130 pages (It's a beast!) of all of my best tips and tricks, inspiration and guidance to help you to host your own gatherings with soul. The release is timed to coincide with the Autumn/winter gatherings we are all thinking about ahead, but it is applicable all year round. I designed it to be inspirational yet practical and achievable. 

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In My work, Embracing The Seasons, Soulful Homes Tags my work, a soulful gathering, soulful entertaining, dinner party styling, hosting tips, flower tips
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Turning 34 and a solo hotel stay.

October 31, 2018 Hannah Bullivant
The Gallivant  | Hannahbullivant.com

I turned 34 a couple of weeks ago. It happened on a Monday amidst the usual family bustle, and also as it happens, at the beginning of a bad stretch of anxiety. A serendipitous meeting the previous month with a PR led to me booking a solo hotel stay at The Gallivant for my birthday, and it ended up coming at the most perfect possible time. It was heavenly. 

The experience of being alone was just bliss. I simply pleased myself.  I had a pedicure, ordered room service breakfast, journaled in the window seat. I made liberal use of the toiletries kindly gifted by the hotel; the body oil, foot cream and face mask. I journaled some more. I went for a walk at golden hour and was moved to tears by the sunset reflecting off the wet sand which placed the sky beneath me and above me. I was aware of my family and thought of them, but I just knew deep in my guts that I needed this. (Truthfully I needed 2 or 3 nights of it, but we couldn’t spare me for that long!)

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In Parenting & Pregnancy, My work, Bigger Picture, Adventure Tags The gallivant, Turning 34, motherhood, Camber Sands
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Hannah Bullivant
About

Hannah Bullivant. Stylist and writer based in Kent, UK. I help you to create nurturing spaces for yourself, both inside and out. I write about embracing the seasons, creating soulful interiors that fit who you are and motherhood. I share helpful articles about styling your home or event, and journalling too. I run workshops throughout the year and have an ebook about soulful gatherings, and an e course called the January Book.

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#Ad:gift Happy love day! I’m posting a picture of myself on this auspicious day because apparently that’s how I roll. 💁🏻‍♀️ Dave took this yesterday on our way to a coffee date, just a quick phone snap, but I love it! I’m wearing the frilly shirt of dreams made by and gifted from @isabelknowles - perfection eh? It’s my favourite wardrobe piece at the moment. We’ll be eating crackers and cheese later in our pj’s, are your plans any sexier than ours?! (I’m also wearing my Blundstone boots and cropped trousers from @toast which were part of a collaboration I did with them 3 years ago. I’m mentioning them though because they are such great quality pieces and have washed and worn so well. The cropped trousers go with everything all year round and the boots feel like they have years left in them too. I have been so impressed with the quality. Just sharing the love!) P.s new rules mean that as well as clearly identifying ads and gifts right at the start of the caption (not hidden at the end or in the hashtags) influencers now need to put ‘#ad’ when their posts include gifted items. It will mean that there will probably be a lot more ‘ad’s around but it doesn’t necessarily mean that money has exchanged hands. I just thought I’d explain.
Happy new week. I’m still in winter mode, and taking it extra easy as I adjust to some new medication. But I can feel a shift already, it’s beautiful outside,  I managed a run this morning and am feeling grateful. Monday’s is when I go live in my life book e-course Facebook group and it’s become such a lovely start to my week. We have moved beyond the modules of the e course now and are now focussing on interconnected stuff- journalling, writing (today, it’s a bonus on writing  from @ourstorytime which I am so excited about!) and also gratitude, mindset, planning, making things happen and generally the stuff I love and nerd out on. Happy new week to you too, hope it’s a gentle one.
It’s cold and wet and I’m finding myself both deeply hibernating and feeling SO ready for warmer weather. Know what I mean?! This is a throw back to @thenaturesessions last year, which is coming back this May. It’s a 3 day retreat at @elmleynature (My favourite place!). I’ve stepped back from the organising side of it but I’ll be there with bells on, leading a creative styling session and a session on journalling too. Details on @thenaturesessions Page. How good would it be to be sat at that table right now with the warm evening sun on your face?! 🌞 Sigh. Anyway, hope you’re cosy wherever you are!
The first Sunday of the month is when I send out my Sunday Supplement newsletter containing things to make, do and celebrate each month. These are often small and simple things, acts of mindfulness and simply stopping to notice: things that hugely help me to stay grounded.  I have sent this newsletter for 4 years now! Whoa! Anyway, February’s edition is now in subscribers inboxes and also on the blog. Lovely things to make and do plus what I’m reading, eating, listening too and wearing. February love to you all.

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