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On finding your tribe + laying a simple Galentines table.

February 11, 2016 Hannah Bullivant
aying a Galentines Table with Fairtrade Roses | Seeds and Stitches blog

I'm thrilled to kick of my month of love posts with a bit of love for my mates. Because It’s Galentines day this weekend! An excellent, excellent excuse to get your girlfriends together to celebrate your joint-badassery and drink Prosecco. Hell yes. Here is a s super simple Galentines table idea using Fairtrade Roses (read more here about why non-fairtrade flowers are reaaaalllyy bad news for the growers and see our Sunday Supplement for ideas for more ethical alternatives to cut flowers). Emilie has created a gorgeous free printable/emailable for you to declare your love for your friends too. And don’t panic if you haven’t got anything organised either, anytime in February works!

Fairtrade Roses from Marks and Spencers, simple white crockery and stripy linens from Linen Me. 

Fairtrade Roses from Marks and Spencers, simple white crockery and stripy linens from Linen Me. 

That was the light version of this post. Then lots of other words about about friendship sort of spilled out so here they are. 

My female friendships have always been pretty crucial to my wellbeing. I’m an external processor; I need to talk or the thoughts build up in my mind to an uncomfortably cramped level, and if left untended, explode out of me in an uncontrolled messy tearful rage. I feel like my female friendships have taken on a whole new patina since I became a Mum however. I mean, I thought I needed them for teenage first kiss anxiety and being brave enough to go to the under 18’s night, or for having willing recipients of my 20+ page letters, or as allies when I had a party that time when my parents were on holiday. And I did need them then. But I feel the need is deeper now somehow. Motherhood wracks you to your core, combing away layers and layers of self until it feels like theres not much left and you’re not quite sure WHO you are anymore. Then it stretches you so far beyond your limits that they’re mere heat-haze shimmering somewhere in the far distance. So to have friends in that strange new landscape of myself; milestones or markers if you like, was utterly essential for me. 

I am part of a group of women who make me a better person/talk me off the ceiling on an almost daily basis. I live next door to my sister-in-law and best friend and we share practical daily life stuff, as well as he big life chats, constantly. So feel like I experience a semblance of the female community all women used to enjoy at one time. We have managed to build around us a gang of truly marvellous female human beings. We cover it all; the breathless high’s and desperate lows of motherhood, careers, finances, our wider families, husbands and sex, money etc. There is also prolific emoji use and stupid gifs too. And as much as I thought I needed my gang at school it isn’t until now, since I became a mum, that I feel like I’ve found my tribe. I have other friends dotted around the country who I love dearly, who when I see it’s like we’ve never been apart, who enrich mine and my families lives in countless ways. But there is something special, and I think quite rare, about having a tribe of women around you locally, who share the daily shit with you. A group that make my anxieties and weird paranoia’s less daunting, funny even! I'm starting to build this with some of my online friends too, which i am increasinlgy grateful for. I’m talking about this because I’ve realised recently how incredibly rare it is for women to have this, and more widely than that- to simply feel supported and heard. I feel both very privileged to have experienced this and heart broken that it isn’t the norm for everyone. 

I was invited recently to be part of a private Facebook group by a couple of researchers who asked the following simple question; “how has motherhood changed your identity?” The most incredible outpouring ensued. Story after harrowing story. There was no judgement, pretty much no comeback, other than love. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was cathartic and healing to tell my story and reassuring and heart breaking in equal measure to witness the stories of others from very different backgrounds. And all of us said how rare it was to be given the chance to tell our stories, and how humbled and privileged we felt to simply listen to the stories of others. It tapped into something deep down- a vague collective remembering of a female community long gone. It felt right. And then the project finished and the group closed and we got on with our lives. But I want to hold onto it!

So all of this is leading to this. Celebrate your female friendships. Your mother/sister/best friend. Nurture those friendships that build you up. Tell your stories. Open your hearts. Be vulnerable. Reach out. Not to everyone, and certainly not to anyone who cracks or wobbles your foundations. get them out of your palace. I’m talking about those who build you up your Queenliness and shore up your foundations. Lets hear each other.

This weekend I get to hang out with some excellent women folk and I cannot wait. There may be breakfast food as dinner and 99p peel off Superdrug facemarks involved….

So I'm wishing you a Happy Galentines day in advance. May it be filled with your besties whether its in person or online/in your inbox/on the phone. 

P.S Here is a little free printable/ emailable to send to your mates this weekend. Simple email a bit of love or invite them over for drinks or dinner. You won’t regret it.   

P.P.S See last years Galentines celebrations for Mollie Makes here

P.P.P.S Waaay more Galentines inspiration on Pinterest. 

Follow Hannah Bullivant Seeds and Stitches's board Galentines day on Pinterest.
Free printabel/ emailable Galentines card by Emilie Maguin for Seeds and Stitches blog

 

 

 

Free printabel/ emailable Galentines card by Emilie Maguin for Seeds and Stitches blog
In Embracing The Seasons, Bigger Picture, Parenting & Pregnancy Tags Galentines Day, Galentines, Leslie Knope, Will you be my Galentine?, laying a simple Galentines table, fairtrade roses, ethical flowers, grown not flown
← Month of Love: On grief. A Potion for a broken heart… February's Sunday Supplement, 10 wonderful things to make, do and celebrate →
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Hannah Bullivant
About

Hannah Bullivant. Stylist and writer based in Kent, UK. I help you to create nurturing spaces for yourself, both inside and out. I write about embracing the seasons, creating soulful interiors that fit who you are and motherhood. I share helpful articles about styling your home or event, and journalling too. I run workshops throughout the year and have an ebook about soulful gatherings, and an e course called the January Book.

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#Ad:gift Happy love day! I’m posting a picture of myself on this auspicious day because apparently that’s how I roll. 💁🏻‍♀️ Dave took this yesterday on our way to a coffee date, just a quick phone snap, but I love it! I’m wearing the frilly shirt of dreams made by and gifted from @isabelknowles - perfection eh? It’s my favourite wardrobe piece at the moment. We’ll be eating crackers and cheese later in our pj’s, are your plans any sexier than ours?! (I’m also wearing my Blundstone boots and cropped trousers from @toast which were part of a collaboration I did with them 3 years ago. I’m mentioning them though because they are such great quality pieces and have washed and worn so well. The cropped trousers go with everything all year round and the boots feel like they have years left in them too. I have been so impressed with the quality. Just sharing the love!) P.s new rules mean that as well as clearly identifying ads and gifts right at the start of the caption (not hidden at the end or in the hashtags) influencers now need to put ‘#ad’ when their posts include gifted items. It will mean that there will probably be a lot more ‘ad’s around but it doesn’t necessarily mean that money has exchanged hands. I just thought I’d explain.
Happy new week. I’m still in winter mode, and taking it extra easy as I adjust to some new medication. But I can feel a shift already, it’s beautiful outside,  I managed a run this morning and am feeling grateful. Monday’s is when I go live in my life book e-course Facebook group and it’s become such a lovely start to my week. We have moved beyond the modules of the e course now and are now focussing on interconnected stuff- journalling, writing (today, it’s a bonus on writing  from @ourstorytime which I am so excited about!) and also gratitude, mindset, planning, making things happen and generally the stuff I love and nerd out on. Happy new week to you too, hope it’s a gentle one.
It’s cold and wet and I’m finding myself both deeply hibernating and feeling SO ready for warmer weather. Know what I mean?! This is a throw back to @thenaturesessions last year, which is coming back this May. It’s a 3 day retreat at @elmleynature (My favourite place!). I’ve stepped back from the organising side of it but I’ll be there with bells on, leading a creative styling session and a session on journalling too. Details on @thenaturesessions Page. How good would it be to be sat at that table right now with the warm evening sun on your face?! 🌞 Sigh. Anyway, hope you’re cosy wherever you are!
The first Sunday of the month is when I send out my Sunday Supplement newsletter containing things to make, do and celebrate each month. These are often small and simple things, acts of mindfulness and simply stopping to notice: things that hugely help me to stay grounded.  I have sent this newsletter for 4 years now! Whoa! Anyway, February’s edition is now in subscribers inboxes and also on the blog. Lovely things to make and do plus what I’m reading, eating, listening too and wearing. February love to you all.

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