Last month Dave and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. 11 years! Ha haaaaa! So much has happened since those early (essentially teenaged!) first years of romance. We have weathered many a storm, some horrific losses. We’ve celebrated some huge joys. We have moved house 8 times. Visited 15 different countries. We’ve helped each other crawl out of many a black hole, navigated the perilous territory of both leading creative freelance lives and all the financial baggage that comes with it. We became parents and learned more about ourselves and our marriage than we thought possible, in the process.
We love each other more as the years pass, but it’s not without effort, not without wounds, and I want to talk about that a bit. It’s been sweet but oh so hard too. We still learn new stuff about each other all the time which I didn’t think was possible. And it takes work, a phenomenal amount of work. When facing one of a handful of thorny muddy issue’s that have arisen so many times, it can be so profoundly exhausting to go over the same ground, groundhog day style, to work through it yet again, but the alternative is bleak. So we plough through. We still testify to the simple power of talking about it. All of it. Not always in the heat of the moment, no. But all of it has to be on the table; you can trust our bitter experience on that one.
We have found careers we both love but we are essentially workaholics now and work side by side most evenings. We enjoy this but have learned that we HAVE to make time to talk, and watch crap telly, have sex, cook and eat together. Because it’s so easy for weeks to pass without one or more of those things happening, then we wonder why we feel grouchy and resentful and picky with each other.
But the good stuff is still so sweet. He’s my favourite person, my best friend, the person I want to spend my life with. It is such a privilege to be known like I am known, and know like I know. It’s still the best thing we ever did.
To celebrate, we spent a couple of nights at Elmley nature reserve, just 25 minutes away from us. It was utterly perfect and I think we were little entranced by the place. We have now shared so many photo’s on Instagram that if you follow us there then these will come as no surprise but I wanted to share them anyway.
The white shimmering sunrises! The deep orange sunsets! The owls! The view from the bed! It was simply perfect. Frankie-Rose joined us for the second night which was lovely too.
We woke up to this incredible silvery sunrise, and although it wasn't 5 am yet we just had to put the bath robes on and go outside to bathe in that light!
And here are a few photo's from inside the hut. The details were so well thought through- bath robes and fluffy towels, lovely products in the bathrooms, binoculars, branches (you all know how much I love a good branch) sloe gin, books, flowers...
We stayed in Vanellus, at Elmley as part of the Canopy & Stars Collective. Thank you Elmley for such a wonderful couple of days! Elmley is in Kent and only an hour from London. It's the perfect place to spend an anniversary, birthday or celebration of any kind. It would make the perfect writing retreat as it's so peaceful too. They also host weddings, parties and events in the most glorious black barn! We shall be back.
P.S today would normally be Sunday Supplement day but its taking a wee summer holiday and will be back next month!