Davina here - I am now 16 weeks pregnant and I thought it would be nice to write a post once a month about how the pregnancy is going - almost like a diary I suppose. This will give me a chance to reflect on the pregnancy, which I am not doing half as much as I did with Elfie (there is just no time with a toddler to look after) and will give me an opportunity to share with you any pregnancy related products/happenings I like.
Something I love:
One of the things I really love about pregnancy is how women recycle pregnancy clothing with their friends. Its such a lovely thing to do! Firstly it makes better use out of the clothes, which otherwise would have such a short lifespan, secondly as a friend lending it allows you to feel part of the pregnancy and to support your friend and share their excitement with them and thirdly it is clearly very cost effective for the receiver. My friend Lien, who I met at pregnancy yoga last time round handed me a huge bag of maternity clothes last week. It was such good timing as I was just beginning to struggle to fit into many of my clothes and I haven't worn anything else since (except the dress I am wearing today that I treated myself too - I have an obsession with denim dresses).
The first 3 months:
The first three months are such a waiting game. At first you count down the days until you will ovulate, next till you can check if you are pregnant, then you wait for the sickness to kick in as some kind of proof you are pregnant, then more counting down until your first midwife appointment and finally your important scan and test results. Its just non stop waiting, which is filled with uncertainty and anxiety. The worst bit is that all this happens at a time when you are encouraged not to tell anybody - when actually you'd probably love to talk to your friends about your hopes and worries.
Luckily this time round I have not actually been sick but thats not to say I haven't been feeling unwell. For me this time round I have felt my worst in the evenings and have really struggled to eat dinner most nights. Because of this my energy levels have been super low in the evenings and I have woken up feeling sick with hunger in the mornings and very weak. This seems to be quite common response to early pregnancy and if you have this too then I'd advise you just eat whatever you can manage in the evenings - cereal - toast - doesn't matter - just get some food in you to build up your energy and prevent sickness kicking in.
Luckily in the last few weeks my appetite has been increasing and my energy levels are on the rise. Thank you second trimester!
Deciding to tell people:
We did decide to tell a few people - not many at all but a few close friends who we see every week (some whom are trying to get pregnant themselves and we always agreed we'd share the pregnancy from the start) and others who we couldn't avoid telling due to holidaying with etc. Another reason for choosing to tell a few people was that I actually feel that if I do have a miscarriage that I'd want to talk to my friends about it as part of the grieving process. When we had a miscarriage at 11 weeks before Elfie we ended up telling friends about the miscarriage that we hadn't even told that we were pregnant. One of the reasons I did this was because when it happened to me I really had no idea what to expect - what pain levels were normal and blood loss etc - I wanted to share my experience with friends so if it happened to them they'd be better equipped to deal with it.
A difficult Patch:
We are now obviously feeling really happy to have had a good 12 week scan and it feels so much more real now - part of me didn't allow myself to believe it until the proof of the scan. In fact, we so much didn't allow ourselves to believe in the pregnancy that at 9 weeks we went for a private reassurance scan. We went for the scan because for the whole of the previous week - whilst on holiday in Amsterdam - I stopped feeling pregnant. I stopped feeling nauseous, my energy levels went back to normal and I had a strong gut feeling that the pregnancy was over - to the point that I text a couple of friends to tell them so. We went for the scan as I felt I needed to know for sure one way or another and were so surprised to see the heartbeat - it was a true shock. I did feel a lot more secure after that scan but even then I still felt I wanted to wait till the 12 week scan to really feel excited about the pregnancy as of course miscarriages commonly happen after 9 weeks. I'd really recommend having a reassurance scan to anyone who is particularly anxious about the pregnancy - perhaps due to previous miscarriages or a long awaited pregnancy - it just helps with the long wait.
The 4th Month (after the 12 Week Scan):
I am now beginning to really enjoy the pregnancy - my energy levels are back and its so exciting beginning to tell people and watching my little bump grow and most importantly now sharing the excitement with Elfie. I am so pleased the first trimester is over, I am getting ready to treasure these next few months of what is to be (I think) my last pregnancy and I am so looking forward to the joy of feeling the baby's first kick!
More updates in 4 weeks time!